Things progressively got worse. As Major began meeting the girls around the area, sometimes he would take them home with him… let’s just say that made it very difficult to sleep or nap!!
We still all went to the gym together most of the time, but I didn’t really get enjoyment out of it. I kind of started to dread it to be perfectly honest, except for when I was so hypnotized and engulfed in my work-out that I thought I was the only one there.
He and Allie would go out a lot after work on several occasions. I’m not sure how to keep up with them. It’s not that I’m tired after work at all, I just don’t feel like going anywhere late at night when they finally get back home.
Furthermore, there was one morning I woke up by myself. That’s not the weird part, obviously. The weird part was I walked downstairs and I was alone too. I was thinking what the fuck..? The house was dead quiet and no one else was in any other room downstairs. I very quietly walked back up the stairs and checked both balconies. Nothing. They obviously didn’t go anywhere this early, either.
Then it dawned on me.
I walked back out into the hallway. Major’s door was open a crack. Ugh, I thought, bracing myself to just take a little peek inside. I wouldn’t have done it if the door wasn’t kind of open. Honestly, I swear. But I figure, nothing could be that secret if the door’s kind of open? Right?
My body tightened up and I peeked.
Okay, yep!!! Just as I thought!! Allie was sleeping in the bed with Major. Ew…
That was only one time. It never happened again throughout the entire time I rooming with them. It was just a very weird phenomenon I never figured out myself. I never even asked them about it. I just erased it from my mind as forcefully as I could. It was the weirdest and most awkward thing I’ve ever seen.
I also grew a habit of stealing things. Little things here and there – at work, in stores, things that my roommates won’t miss, etcetera. I never had another “big moment” for a while, like when I stole right out of a guy’s pocket. Throughout my whole life, in fact, I would later only be able to think of a few other “big moments” I had with stealing. Stealing from stores was semi-big. They were items in certain stores where there was no way I’d be caught, but it still gave me a rush.
During these few months, times were still pretty monotonous. I worked on writing skills and read my books and jogged around the block. Every so often one of my parents would check in on me or Latisha would want to talk to me.
And I’ll be lying to you if I said my roommates and I didn’t get into a scuffle every once in a while.
Allie had a huge issue about having a super clean environment. She was always on me and Major’s case about shit we weren’t responsible for; something we didn’t get to yet; or something that was no big deal. It was just like living with my mother again.
“I’m sick and tired of this dirty house!! You guys need to put some weight in too with the cleaning.”
“You clean every day!! It’s not necessary!!”
She was also super jealous of other girls at times, feeling horrible about her looks or how little attention she was getting. “Yeah, who did you meet this time?”, she’d question Major, “How pretty on a scale of 1-10???” I think she couldn’t help herself but she was trying way too hard. And at least you get attention, you spoiled brat.. I thought.
She also reached a point in her life where she realized she was never going to be a comedian. She’d get depressed and angry for days over it. “I hate this stupid life!! This job sucks!!! I want to punch everyone there!!”
One night, I stood outside the front porch miserably staring into the calming sky. The deep serene blue-violet colors were serene in heavy contrast with how I felt. I tried to drown myself in the clouds, forcing myself “out-of-body”. It was relaxing for a little bit, and when my imagination ceased and I came back to reality, all I could calmly ask myself was,
How much longer am I going to do this?